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By Abdu Labaran Malumfashi.
6-7-2023.
The sight of spoiled Dollar and Sterling Pound notes trending on the social media reminds me of the ‘cold room’ in houses of very important persons, most of whom have been big shots in the federal government, or the biggest shots in their states, or big serving shots in the employ of the federal government.
The spoiled dollar and pound notes were discovered in the house of a Customs officer in Kano, long after his death. The discovery of the loot was accidentally made when a wall in the house had fallen down, and its repair was being effected. The workmen stumbled upon an underground chamber nearly filled with Ghana Must go bags that were stuffed with monies in the two denominations.
The money was hidden without the knowledge of ‘her indoors’, nor of the children of the house. The money thus remained undiscovered until they were found much later when they were of no more use to anyone. It also reminds me of a (also late) former Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of a big Northern states owned company who was in the habit of storing stolen money in several underground chambers in his house. He did not keep the ’secret’ to himself, he took the wife and children into confidence. But not his God fearing parents.
His biological father once requested him to buy medicine (prescribed from the hospital) for the father’s younger brother costing a mare N7, but the son swore that he did not have the money. Less than a week however, he collapsed in office and died before he was rushed to the hospital. And the father and mother rejected their share of the inheritance, which run into hundreds of millions of naira for each of them, saying that he had that amount of money, but told them that he was also poor because he did not want to spend N7.
The modern looters, who want any amount they so desire at any given time, came up with the idea of the ‘cold room’. This is not the conventional type where the house wife in a number of houses make ice blocks and keep other items that are wanted frozen for the use of the house.
This particular ‘cold room’ is usually out of the reach of the wife or wives, and the children, at all the time. It is accessible ONLY to the master of house, who dart into it when others in the house have retired to their respective bedrooms. It is located from the ‘master bedroom’. Entry to the ‘master bedroom’ is strictly on the invitation of the master. The ‘cold room’ is often cited behind trick doors, hidden by thick curtains.
As it is accessible ONLY to the master of the house, the few who know about its existence whisper about all manner of evil things going on within. But the ‘cold rooms ’ actually contains some huge freezers that are constantly humming under controlled temperature, so that its contents do not spoil, no matter how long they stay in the freezers.
Apart from saving one the old crude way of hiding loot, the ‘cold room’ also serves as local, and foreign banks combined. The unnecessary questions of the local bank, and the restricted withdrawal imposed by Western banks, are therefore avoided.
I happen to know all these because an acquaintance, now late, had once kept of a ‘cold room’ in his palatial house, keeping the loot belonging to many important people around the country. They ‘paid’ him sufficient money, so much that he could afford to live a larger than life lifestyle, that included many fast vehicles, beautiful women (he was married to three women, and was about to add the fourth one), and always carried lots of spending money on his person.
In the event of the death of the ‘owner’ of the ‘cold room’, its contents remain the inheritance of his family, unless he has left an identification mark spelling out the name of the actual owner of each freezer. In rare cases, the family refuses to accept the contents of an unmarked ‘cold room’ left by a deceased master of the house, returning it to the government in the belief that it was illicit money hidden by unknown persons.
The take of Alhaji Aliko Dangote, the richest black person on the planet, on the issue of corruption in the country is that the stolen money is deposited in foreign banks. Not necessary, anyway. The ‘cold room’ has saved all that for those in the know, and in the abominable habit of stealing from the public purse, except for the very few who still ‘patronise’ foreign banks where the money was illegally made in the first place.
Alhaji Aliko Dangote claimed that although corruption was a cancer afflicting most nations in the world, it is in Nigeria that the money is saved in foreign banks, thus depriving the country of investment that could have been made with the funds if it was saved locally, as is the practice in other climes.
As a big international investor, and player in global finance, Aliko Dangote is well placed to speak on such matters. Luckily for Nigeria, the business mogul claims that he keeps all his money in the country, not hidden in foreign banks where it would become the property of the bank if proper identification by the inheritors cannot be established. It is often not established, because the original depositor of the money did not take the family into confidence when he was siphoning the money out of the country, or when the money was being stolen from the foreign lending banks.
May God give us the legitimate wealth that we can be able to spend confidently, no matter how stupendous it may be.
Malumfashi wrote from Katsina.
